Thor

Okay, so I'm futzing around on the computer and the phone rings. I've got one of those phones with 5 head sets. Not one is in the computer room. So I look over at the caller ID and it is a call from PRIVATE. My answering machine is named Private, so I decide to let the machine get it.

Thor floats in and wants to answer the phone. So say okay and Thor pushes the “Speaker” button:
Thor: Hello? (Remember Thor is a male with a very deep voice)
Caller: Mrs. Julianne Thomas.
Thor: Hello?
Caller: Yes, is this Mrs. Julianne Thomas.
Thor: In his wall rattling deeper than whale dung voice, “ Hello?”
Caller: Yes, I have a very important matter for Mrs. Julianne Thomas. Are you Julianne Thomas.
I'm dying, about on the floor laughing.
Thor: More booming than ever, “How may I help you?”
Caller: Yes ma'am I have a business matter I need to discuss with Mrs. Julianne Thomas, are you Mrs. Thomas?
I hear that all to familiar whoosh. Oh God, the answering machine is toast!
From the machine I hear, “Oh {bleep} my {bleeping} hair is on fire!!! “Help!!! My {bleeping} hair is on fire.

Oh not it doesn't end here.

So as I ponder where in the {hell} did Thor get another blow torch, I hear the sound of fire truck brakes! Oh crap. I get up off the floor and take off to the front door. Now in order to get from the computer room to the front door I have to exit the room and make a U-turn. So I'm still getting up, full throttle and make my U turn while bouncing off the hallway wall (yep left a mark), a blow torch lands in my chest. I grabbed it. Never played football. Sorry, when I see 12 guys coming me at for a pig skin, I run, the other direction. Apparently in football, that is bad.

So as I'm making my way towards the front door, knowing what awaits me, I'm not sure what to do with the “evidence”. As I ponder my fate, Thor floats through the wall from the bedroom and opens the front door. Oh thanks a hell of a lot there buddy, there I am heading out the front door with a blow torch in my hand. Weirdly, Thor grabs the screen door and flings it open.

Now I remember in “football” that when one was about to die they tossed the ball. I catch a glimpse of 5 firemen with, oops, 4 firemen and one fire lady, hopping over my fence, each with a charged fire hose, heading towards me. I kinda stumble and I stop to turn and flee, but not before I toss the torch. Caught the Fire Chief on the helmet. Everything stopped. It took him a minute to recover. When he did, I stared right at me, he was not happy. I looked at him, the men, and lady, with their now limp fire hoses and uttered, “That's for all the times you hosed me!!!” And slammed the front door. I realized that I had left Thor outside, when he floated through the door.

Epilog:
Not a good idea to hi-five a ghost. That is a weird sensation! The fire department left without an ounce of water in my house. I hate surround and drown. And before I left for the day, I put out an extra bowl of Boo-Berries for Thor.

Oh yeah, I wonder who was calling me?