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02/17/14

  12:00:00 am, by JJ   , 228 words  
Categories: Thor

The Cold Bed

So I am late getting to bed. You see, I have one of those fancy heater control gizmos. It gets the house all nice and toasty so I have a warm bed to slide into. Unfortunately, if I wait too long, I get into a bone chilling bed.

So the other morning, I finish up my prayers and proceed to slide into bed. I went full fetal. I guess God didn't know I had finished my prayers, because he answered the one "Oh My God this bed is cold!" There was a bright orange glow followed by lots of warmth and water, as usual. As I laid there, boiling, freezing and getting soaked by a rain of fire (pun ment). Thor took off and the rain of water stopped.

I looked and my water soaked bed an said, "I have seen this much water since the waterbed incident of 1979 in Phoenix." Details are sketchy, I used to drink back then and the incident involved a knife, a waterbed, Wendy's and too much booze. I do remember throwing a bucket of water out a closed window. I couldn't get the water out through the wall.

Back to Tacoma, so I look water soaked bed and at the Fire-lady and asked if this makes me a bed-wetter? She replied, "No honey, at your age we call it incontinence."

Good night.

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