Thor

To recap: I found a big hairy Theraphosidae under my sheets. Thor offered his help by using a shotgun. Thor missed the Theraphosidae, however the contents of my bedroom, including my derriere were not so lucky. I was arrested, but cleared, since I didn't have any gunshot residue on my body. It was also determine that I could not have shot myself in the rear with a long gun.

Thor, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He was cuffed and stuffed. He was carted off to jail. He returned about 15 minutes later, and the police officer showed up about 5 minutes after that and re-arrested Thor. This went on for the most of the night. After about 8 hours of this, the offer told me where to take Thor for his hearing. I agreed.

At the hearing, Thor was read the charges of unlawful discharge of a weapon, attempted murder and something about property damage; I didn't catch it, Thor decided to pop up through the judges desktop. Scared the crap out of the judge.

I informed the judge that I would not be pressing charges for the murder and property thing. He asked me if I was sure and I said, "Yes I was sure."

When it came to the charge of Unlawful Discharge of a Weapon I pointed out to the judge that the Tacoma law follows and references RCW (Revised Code of Washington) and I pointed out there are no references a ghost in any of its text. It simply references "person" and further breaks it down to adults and juveniles. In spite of the overwhelming urge smirk, I kept my military-soldier-stone-face-at-attention look.

It took the judge a few minutes to look through his law books and something called findlaw.com. The tension was so tight one could spew diamonds out of coal. Thor floated to look over the judges shoulder. The judge raised his head and Thor floated around to the front of the judges desk. Everyone was dead quit to listen to what the judge found.

Unfortunately, Thor took matter into his own hands and gave the judge the biggest, loudest, wettest raspberry I'd ever seen. Even the judge smiled. I lost it, the DA lost it, and the whole courtroom lost it. The judge quit smiling and the court was, again, dead silent.

The judge looked at the DA and suggested that the best course of action was to send both Thor and I to a gun safety class. Before the DA could respond (he did not have a "sure" look on his face) I shouted, "AGREED!" The judge slammed his mallet down and said, "Dismissed."

While the DA tried to figure out what happened, I grabbed Thor and left. (Well fled).

I got home and I needed to undo what Thor had done. My butt still hurt. In the process of cleaning up my bedroom I found a deceased Theraphosidae. It didn't seem to have any external damage. I decided to take my guest to a local arachnologist.

The arachnologist got this weird look on her face. She looked at me and said she had never seen anything like this before. She continued with "I believe the cause of death is: this creature died laughing."

I'm going to bed.